aka, how to quickly change your look from work appropriate to punk rock chic.
1. make sure you are wearing tights that you love. for instance, maybe you put them on this AM thinking, maybe this will work with my new dress, and as the day progresses, you think, wow, i love these tights, they fit well, awesome color, not too light, not too dark. you must love the tights for this to work. (i.e. you should have a propensity to love inanimate objects like clothes, handmade items, knick knacks, etc).
2. this transition will only work if you have asphalt as your disposal. CARPETING WILL NOT WORK. it should be cold outside, and most likely rainy/ snowy to assure that not only will the tights rip but also they will get dirty and filthy looking. if you wish to not include the blood and have excruciating brush burns, a slightly less abrasive surface will suffice, say, maybe wood or i don’t know- just stick with the asphalt. you’re asking but where could i find asphalt, look no further than your friend’s extended drive way.
3. walk on the edge of the driveway to make sure that you are teetering and it also helps if you are kind of clumsy (like you just fell down some steps in your apartment 2 weeks prior). gracefully fall onto your knee and if possible, try and scrape the palm of your hand (this is an advanced move- if you want it to be just slight and not full blown “i can’t write with this hand” you’ll need to practice.) let out a weird yelp and hope that no one is outside to see you fall on your ass. maybe a car will drive by and witness the whole thing- that would be bad. pick yourself and your stuff up and wait until you get home to examine the full magnitude of your punk rock look. cry if you want to.
sigh, i know this seems excessive for some ripped tights, but i loved them….. sorry if any of you were grossed out by the pic.
